Within friends, we share secrets and again, how trustworthy can people ever be? There is also a phrase that says; “Walls have ears.” It’s hard to keep secrets or personal stuffs to oneself and zip that mouth. Out of grief, remorse, fear or just angst and frustrations that we find an avenue to release such emotional stress. Row a boat to the sea and scream it off to be a little safe but nothing comes close to the kind of satisfaction or relief in typing online. And why are we such gluttons for punishments? I guess one of the human animal’s weakness is the fear for loneliness and we want to be heard or seek solace. We’re taking chance, that someone whom we do not know gets to know our distress and it doesn’t matter if we get any response and in most cases, we’re hoping for empathy, sympathy or just opinions. There, it’s the beginning of blog wars and secrets are no longer secrets. As for this blog of mine, well it’s only time that’ll deliver the bomb to me.


Oh well, I killed my hubby in the attic. The nightly twinge of remorse is just unbearable. Now how bout that?

Girls think that they are princess and should be treated like one. They are vain, stuck-up and self-centered. They demand for meals only in restuarants and expect taxi rides. They are rude and mollycoddled spoilt. They love money and they spend a lot, and these expenses are only burning the wallets of their guys. They are brainless and expect everything and anything to suit them. Girls are evil and they’re out to cheat noble hearts of men. Now, that’s the impression on us.


What about guys? Here’s the bomb. Guys, oh some guys and I said “some” but it’s bad enough to make a majority, are sex monomaniacs. They live in their little world of porns and they enjoy rape/molest related news. How they wish that they could grope one of the breasts and their obsession over girls’ private. They are so lame that it takes the entire forum to help them think of what presents to buy for their beloved and best of all, the classic questions that goes like; “What does it mean when a girl (whatever)” and like as if relationship works like maths formula. Girl say or do this must equate that. Some brains! Lots more and if I proceed on, this post will degerate itself into misandry. But that’s the general idea.


So, what do you see here? Both sexes are just as ugly isn’t it? Just the only difference is, girls want to play and some love, care and concern are the lame excuses for being selfish whilst the guys only have sex as the primary and what love and share about life are secondary bulls. So where did I get these from? Forums of course, I have consolidated from both male and female dominated forums. Put them together and that’s what we got here.


I gotta agree with some guys on other basis. Some girls are plain ignorant, really and I’m not judgmental to the level of protecting my own gender. Reading from some of those postings, some girls think that National Service is good for guys. Well okay but why? Here’s the shocker. Because it makes them a better man to treat ladies with respect! Oh my God, whatelse can I say?


Because, it’s an age thing and even I have been through that. Teenage loves are all test-dummy relationships. They’re curious about their opposite sex, experiencing things, the jouissance of being loved and to love, and sex, again, the primary thing. Not just guys with their raging hormones, girls too are curious. On relationship, boys and girls and be it teens and adults are just getting wearied over their differences. Because we see love and sex differently. We think that sex and relationship shoud be like this but guys think otherwise or something else. To sum it up, Venus and Mars. Think I’ll move to Jupiter someday and find some peace.


We all learn about life and things as we grow older and surprisingly, some people won’t learn. There are old princess in my former working place and old princes who think that women are born dumb. For the rest of us, we’ll get tired of being princess and resign to that old peasant wife mindset and make bread and dinner for our man someday. But, “Princess” is only figurative use for character flaws that we are always trying to be a better person. That is if we ever self-reflect and that’s for the both sexes to go ponder and sort it out. Stop blaming each other and grow up! Young people!

The brutal truth and grim future is grinning back at us but is there no way through the darksome cul-de-sac? While some chose to hack it off and try as they might, years of toiling will wear out any living man. Some attempted the high walls and fell so hard and buried in rubble of debts, forget about picking up the hammer and muck in with the rest with wall hacking. The floor is stone hard, but they find ways through subterranean means and were eaten as what’s beneath, we know not, the unthinkable legal predators. So we never hear of them anymore, where about in the nether hole, no man will breathe a word. This is the Orwellian Singapore that I see everyday, born here and I’m just one of those trying my luck. Still, half hanging on that rusting roof pipe today I dare not look down, as I chose the high wall. I just think, to be Quitter is not easy with burdens but if I were to be Stayer, it’s either that sledgehammer, the underground sewage or the high walls. Still, trying is believing. Like rats in a great fire, will you be the lucky one unscathed? Just move on with the rest, hand in hand perhaps. Don’t stop trying! Business is the answer! Employment is a joke. By whatever means you can think of, there are no rules out here! Take heart, citizens!

However, if you don’t get know his name/title, you are sad and you’ll be sitting by the radio waiting for him each day and listening very carefully to the DJ, just what is his name? To no avail, sad girl go out and everyday in the street just hoping that she’ll bump into him someday. That’ll be this day when he finally show up and it happens that your friend knows him. Alright, what’s his name? O’ lovely, “Seasons in the Sun” oh that’s so sweet! “We have fun we have joy we have seasons in the sun” is all you need to like the song and rhythme is such overwhelming joy that you only want to stick with him as you hum along. Now you want to possess him. You go out and buy the CD.


Just like any relationships, a listener and the song is quite the same. You learn about the song through his lyrics and if you wish to, delve into the history. And there are all kinds of men, like songs, art songs, folk songs, popular songs, and classicals to me are the profound men that it takes time to like him. Or hate him. Just like his life, the symphonies and you might only like his no.4 and rest of him is just boring and better off ignored. Love him for his overture, that’s enough. Sometimes, it’s only disappointment to know one too well. “Seasons in the Sun” if you listen to him carefully, “Goodbye, Papa, it’s hard to die when all the birds are singing in the sky” that’s disappointment, so disappointing with it’s joyous rhythme with lyrics in somber. Just like Symphonie Fantastique, “March to the Scaffold” is inspiriting to listen to but, it’s about a frightening dream of a murder. Songs, men…well.

Now, when your blog is deem hostile or somebody just don’t like you, there goes one round of that deadly torpedo and it hits you hard on the hull. Your comments section that’s where. The best part is, by “anonymous” subs and when your position is being disseminated, you’re about to engage yourself in the greatest naval conflict. Both from the destroyers above and subs around you. How wonderful!


So what can we do? It’s very little actually unless you don’t choose to blog altogether, you’re safe, maybe. One way, is to disable comments as this is a bait for attacks. One posting will lead to more en masse and soon enough, your blog will turn into a discussion board and topics ABOUT YOU! And they’re not very nice things to read. And so, you deactivate the comments section but the next bait is your e-mail. They’ll find it anyway and get ready for a massive flush of “hot” mails. The next thing will be, it takes a little wit to figure out, they’ll infiltrate and commandeer your sub to a suicide crash against the ice-berg. That’s when all kinds of hacking work take place. How now? Well, that’s the internet.


The next thing that can ever happen is, they’ll carry this war to internet forums, message boards and to their own blog that’s where they talk about you. However, you suffer less of the “magnitude”, still the wave of bombardment gets to you when the topic gets hotter out there. If it ever gets to the press, get ready to be hunted down. At least your sub is safe, all you need to do, the best you can do is, keep changing your password and if possible, back it up. It’s dangerous and not that a helpless bloggress like me don’t wory at all.


It gets a little dramatic when some people simply don’t like you in a forum, and for stupid reasons, they’ll head for google or any search means to sniff for your personal details. And your blog, again, the immediate target. So you see, the internet is exhilarating! *light a cigarette and rolling eyes*

This is what reminded me of some guy friends of mine. For example, I know jewellery boss who has shitloads of cold hard cash, but he worries and he is never happy. Why? Sure, he has girlfriend(s) but the insecurity which is true, by my own instinct I’ve met one of those and I can tell the kind of personality. Now, how money can bring love and girlfriend is not at all an equation to “true love” or what’s known as “love you for what you are” and not “what you have”.


It’s dangerous to think this way and live by the dangerous equation, that many men had fallen. Don’t challenge me, I have seen the rich fall. Men and their women. What I’m trying to convey to these little men (those who scornfully trash us local girls for being sluts and bitches) to get their maths right. In fact, there is no maths nor any formula to courtship and love. The only formula that makes the NMNH logical is that as a man, career comes first that secures your future even as bachelor as we live in an expensive country. The Honey comes next, which is somewhat tricky. There are girls who loves money and those who don’t. The point here is, money may attract partners but that doesn’t equate love. So, “Nobody Loves Me” is no longer valid, it’s only rhythmically logical perhaps but entirely senseless.


To live by the dumb man equation; One will only crawl back to the forum and start reciting the same old same old same old NMNHNLM chant like morphine for the battered heart and it makes one feel better to be with the rest of the screaming soul in hell.

Are you tired of the same old you in that mirror that reminds you of how ugly you think you are and a failure you were in all the dating fiascos. That face tells a lot about bitterness in the game of Love. Another day, the same old you drag yourself to work/school and spend another night back in that forum, creating the same old same old disheartening threads. For how long will you ever stay single and when will heaven actually send an angel, someone to walk into your world and share just everything and anything in life. Be your princess, your love, your wife! (I’ll skip the marriage nightmare in this post) Brace yourself, take a good look at yourself and for the first time, appreciate that face. Now a closer look, what have you missed out?


Facial expressions, your smile. Smiles are one of these features people take note of. Try a few different smiles, choose a nice one you think looks good. And listen to comments and observe others’ (girls of course) reactions to it. Are they comfortable with it. The basic smile leads when you get to know people and check on the rest, explore eyes and mouth, how you can create a “trademark” of yourself.


Hair. Try some colours and colours work wonders on a person’s first impression and appearance. Try different colours and maybe the hairstylist can offer a good advise. Do you know how great a difference between black and coloured hair? Hair colours makes one look younger maybe, confident, fun or just someone pleasant to look at. You don’t have to foray into funky, flamboyant colours that makes you a bozo or the patchy hamster dye. Just yellow, or reddish bronze colours will do. But again, colours works different wonders or damage. So, choose wisely!


Communication. The talking skill is a life time of learning. The art of cracking jokes and not facetious but jocular. Liven up conversations with topics that interest others. Like you know girls will doze off in any computer chats but the trick is. First find out about the person. Study through the short conversation, pick up the topics that she’s happily engage in and note it. But, don’t behave like charlatan and the trick is, if you are less knowledgeable that’s when you create enthusiasm in her topic. As if you are keen about it and err…willing to learn. The whole idea is, be someone that people enjoy talking with and share opinions in a comfortable manner. That’s when, someone lowers her defence, less restraint and so glad to see you and tell you about the whole world. Don’t keep talking about your own things and Army talks is a “no no” topic, it gets so boring! You think they care about how brave you were jumping out of that plane with parachute jammed up? But when you engage in other’s topic, also learn to pull some hand-breaks, don’t be too inquisitive. Remember, there is a sacred garden in every girl’s heart.


These are the basics. The rest is all up to you as an individual and that face, if you think you are ugly, now it’s time to ponder why are you complaining about some igor face having a fairy by his side. However, if you have contempt for other’s look, it shows that you thought highly about your own. There, answer is you aren’t that bad looking afterall. You admitted. If the “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, it works the same for guys. The rest are all about characters, social etiquette and I still believe in fine, well mannered gentlemen. But I don’t expect someone giving up his coat on a puddle of water or behaving like a chauffeur who opens doors. Sometimes, it’s the kind of ladies you’re after and girls, there are all kinds of girls and their different preferences on guys.


So, quit that damn forum and go out there, with a “re-engineered” new you. You’ll be confident with that change and big plans in mind. Because you see yourself differently from today onwards, that’s the confidence you have built for yourself. That mirror will henceforth, display a new guy. Not being yourself? You are, just the thing is, it’s a face-lift, newly improved character that you are comfortable with. You are revisiting yourself and doing amends to your flaws. You are also bringing out the good things in you that you have missed out all along, that girls haven’t seen. Show’em.


Last point of advise, trim nose hair. It’s irritating!

Chinese newspaper editor coined it in the mid 80s. It was then; “Ming Chen Lian Hua” (HanYu PingYin) that rhymes very well in Chinese, for derogative use. This phrase made it’s appearance in 1986 from local Chinese newspaper. I’m certain of the year of publication as I was in Secondary 2 when teenage crimes were on the rise. Someone by the name of Ah Seng was brutally slashed to death at Chinatown’s People’s Park Complex after he was chased by 13 men armed with knives who dashed out from 7 taxis. With the four names phrase, the article describes teens of those days back in the 80s, the CentrePoint Kids and their obsession for flamboyant fashion wears, spiky punk-like hairstyle and the infamous baggy-pants. The rest were all about juvenile delinquency, glue sniffing was a trend and the upswing of Secret Societies making a return. Famous CIDs were John Lim, Jeffery Aw and another uncle by the nick – Parrot


It used to be “Ah Beng Ah Seng” for someone to say in contempt and “Ah Lian Ah Huey” which is on girls. Over the years, the press and public have forgotten about Ah Seng and Ah Huey and that four names phrase disappeared in the 90s. However, Ah Beng survived the oblivion and so did Ah Lian and both lived up to what they are till now, after the millennium. With the same derogative treatment today, even adults deemed uncouth, speaking with obscene expletives and hooligan-like will be labelled Ah Beng. Not even Ah Lian is spared from such err…social segregation. But, keep in mind that it’s only a label and nothing personal against those with names ending with Beng, Seng, Lian and Huey. Just why is it not Ah Huat, Ah Bee or maybe Ah Kiat? My guess is, probably it’s coincidental that most of these CentrePoint Kids have names as mentioned but I can’t confirm anything here. My name? Please stop guessing.


Those were the days at Orchard Road and CentrePoint Shopping Centre the rendezvous. Everyday is all about dressing up like what adults called clowns with vibrant colours and “colourful” faces. Luminous coloured shoelaces for tying hair, big scarves for all creative wearing and again MUST BE luminous colour. Make-up is uber-thick on the face and the whole idea is to be a doll! Yes, and Sam Hui’s Japanese Doll song goes very well with our life and the fashion. Shoes were noisy traditional Japanese clogs. Luminous coloured shirts at knee level and long skirts ending near our ankles. But it isn’t what our hyperbole editor described as being attention seeking, who doesn’t want to look nice, right? Anyway, that’s a brief description. Nostalgic.

KIDS ask the dumbest questions and they do the silliest things that we’ll laugh it off. Kids are always curious and they’re monsters when it comes to mischieves but just that thing about kids that makes us think a little longer, is that we see ourselves again. And how we grow up to be troubled adults, worried individuals and to face so much tribulations in life. These are the adults of tomorrow, the bankers, the rich and famous, celebrities, scholars, business wonders, doctors or even the biggest crooks, smartest criminals when they are less fortunate. And most of these kids will be in the indispensable work force that contributes to all aspects of life.

Little ones in the picture, their eyes wonder and whatever’s up in that little mind, we know not of their questions. It’s the dawn for them and it’s just the beginning for them on the path to the greatest expedition known as life. For them to realise what they are made for and each and every kid is born with a special talent. Be it creative or a natural leader, but right now, with the dumbest questions that we ridicule or mock at, some of these kids will the one answering the most important questions that we adults are ignorant of. In far future.


I’m facing the sunset of my life. My mighty skill and education will not follow to the coffin and like any adults, with our talents and skills, we shouldn’t be selfish but to teach them, impart all that we have before our time pass. Because these kids will be like us in the far future, taking up our roles in the society today. Perhaps, they can do better than us and way smarter too. Take on our challenges and deliver the best to the society or even mankind. And these kids I’m looking at are the kids of the ordinary folks. The wonders of tomorrow and I almost dropped my tears looking at them, they’re such lovely little kids and how will their life be in dreaded future. Felt like buying something for them…but teachers are around and they might think that evil aunty is a terrorist. There might be charges in those ice-creams and kids shouldn’t talk to strangers. So, I made a quick and stealth snap from my hand-bag and ran away ;)